Cold Days - 2012JUL - 2013NOV

20131101 0414
The world embraces you
Regardless of if you embrace it.

Our History - 20131024 1713

I pass the curb we use to stargaze
Into the million universes
That have spawned and consumed
By the black holes that expand

Lying in bed all day just looking at the walls
Where the stars of our past
Sit silently looking at us
But now it's just me

I always blamed you, I did
Over the years I've come to see
It may have just been me
My neurotic obssessions

That led me to not speak to you
For a few days, a week, too long
Did I wait
Was it that which broke us apart?

The time is past late to reprehend
The pools have formed, the die cast
So help me god
That I find it in myself to forgive

Lean - 20131024 1705

On the cigarettes
On the alcohol
On the freshness of infatuation
But never on yourself

Drawn into the depths of a abusive past
By the swirls that mist and surround you
With a charm like the big blue ocean
A circumfrence too big to handle

On a pillow
On a wall
On the back of your chair
But never on the inner soul

You are the one I lean on
The ghost of your presence
The wisps of your fading sillage
I lie awake and stare

You Talk - 20131020 2356

Speak first
So that I may reply
Speak first
So that I may follow
However haphazardly or undeftly

Talk first
So I can have a glimpse
Into that brave heart of yours
Speak first
So I can escape
This mire of indecision

You talk
So that I may listen
Talk first
For one day I will not be here to hear it

Harbour Wide - 20131020 1620

that burden is gone

and although the stars begin to fall apart
there is nothing left to bicker about
and as all the memories begin to fade
and the emotions start to disappate
the one you hoped would share your heart
is lost between the tides of change
your love drowned in the eye of the storm
where the ocean becomes fathoms deep
that place where sunlight cannot reach

you wold never seek to find
those minutes in the hourglass
where the sand begins to melt
glass bends and finds its way
through the abyss of our time together
i can only hope to find some answer
some hope some kind pose to reach an ending

trickling is all that's left of the river
seeking is all that is left of this

All the seas in the world cannot change
The mountains accross the lands cannot carry
All the scriptures in the world cannot awake
That love deep inside

Reflections - 2013

The past is a reflection of the future
The lines have changed
The hues look different
But it's more or less the same

This moment is a summation of life
It seems unimportant
Disjointed from the rest
But it's a part of the whole


You're so sweet
it makes me want to cry
hello kitty, she's always a party

you've shown me
something that no mirror could reflect
i can smile, just for a while
it would seem
like it was all worth it in the end

Tidal Breaks - 20131020 1550

We walked for so many hours
Under the setting sun
It washed out the lights
And made the haze seem clear
Reckless hearts for reckless tides

The waves break far from shore
A destiny long awaiting arrival
We stood with our arms crossed
Watching over the river bed
To see who would go first

Harness - 20131020 0827

You can see the sights of the wonders
Lay a hand where our ancestors have run
The past and the future contain
But a fragment of what you learn from now

Where our hearts have intertiwned
And our echoes have faded
The halls reflect a hollow sigh
Where your sillage dissipates

Your heart warms to the world
But the world has its own agenda
As we course through the veins of the universe
We ended up wracked on the edge of reality

Where the land meets the sea
Where the desert touches the forest
Where the plains become a monument
They will carve your epitaph into the sun

Seep - 20131017 2018

The sleeping awake mid night
Their eye lids heavy from serotonin
All winds have stopped mid-way
A heavy downpour begins

Despite the bleakness
All the trite and wistful words
We have walked a thousand miles
Only to harbour a tolerence towards apathy

These tides sweep over me
They wash away the cataract
That has accumulated on the mirror
Of the mind that reflects the soul

Depression can be a beautiful thing
Anxiety can make you relentless
To turn this darkness into god
Is the power of transmutation

The eyes that gaze have become clear
The ambrosia has reached us
Emerging from a weathered womb
Turning, I embrace thee

 回不去的路  - 20131016 1829

這些時間我認識你
你都沒回頭看
我為了你做了甚麼
這些風吹過去
你都不想知道
我還是在想妳

這些回憶道在 腦海中
想也想不通
在想也沒用
回不去的家

還沒醒時就知道
今天會看到妳
也忘了不認識妳的時候了
常常想妳以前是誰
妳的嫵媚我不了解
彩虹的天空妳看的道嗎

這些回憶道在心海中
沒人的懷抱中
望了自己的承諾
回不去的地方

悟到之後妳見見的
從我腦海裡沉下
和陰生生的魚一起
記望偕時相遇
未來的煙魂

and that negativity will destroy you
even though you are right
you will be alone
your tears will flow to make a river
where your sillage is now
your beauty dissipates
each and every moment
drives you further away from the heart
and the warmth you seek
will devour your waking moments
and that loneliness will take you down

they will wither away their fallen sites
taking away all the dreams and stars
leaving behind a hollow wake
like the ships that have left the harbour
with their sillage echoing on the waves
a perfume of the wistful lady
the nerve endings sparkle with energy
all their glass walls taken down
in the heart of the ocean
you will find the mirror
that will shine the way into the future

Insulin Spike - 20131015 - 2302

the pendulum swings
wracked by the sighs of the dying sun
you'll feel the wrath
of the dying breath
like a dragon peering in
a sigh, breath of the undying
harken close,
to the breath of the dying
for they are close
and what they say matters

we have evolved beyond our needs
what has kept our species alive, is now killing us. insulin, ghrelin, leptin.

Insurrection - 20131015 2205

Curled on the cusp of insanity
He grasped for his virus
His ultimate weapon of destruction
To prove his love was the fairest

He thought of her complexion
Her eyes at the moment of inception
He had had her in his grasp
But his hands had proved too weak

No love was lost though, for
She had already forgotten him
But he, not her
His nocturnal throes conjured forth

Standing upon the precipe
At the heart of the world
He had one simple wish
"Remember me." the poor man said.

Running Asleep - 20131009 1112

Glimpsed a small hole into the future
As I leaned in closer
The aperture shuddered open
Revealing a myriad ways

Granted that the pain I felt
Kept me but adjacent
To the breath that keeps me here right now
There's nothing to eclipse

Pushing aside to make it through
Another day out on sea
Shrouded in their wake I ride,
Till all is naught but sunk

A jestered fate that destiny cast
This seminal fate unwoven
All the sprites begin to fade
From inertia, dissipate

20131008 0408

the divine winds
They twist a fate so cruel
Even the strongest hands
Cannot tame their destiny

descended of the sky
a first born rasied for vengeance
When they carve your name in the sky
It will be made from their caricature

A carving made of metal
Shackled beyond the reach
Of mortal men and angels like
It's a space reached from deliverance

If the gods had a sense of humour
They have played it out on us
If they are all make believe
Then we have to play it out

Out in the wilderness
The loneliest place
Beyond the stars that have died
The veil of the heart is pierced

Let Me Do The  Talking - 20131008 0432

好吧
那我說好了
我喜歡你一陣子了
可是我開始認識你一些之後我發覺到你不會對我有那種感覺得
所以我也痛苦過
我喜歡你的手
我喜歡妳講話很直接
我喜歡妳笑的時候
也怕妳不笑的時候
我喜歡妳的獨立
妳的腦袋想甚麼我都想了解
我常想妳再做什麼
我常想知道妳心裡感覺得是甚麼
我幾乎沒再做事時都在想妳
雖然我們相處不多
而且大部分都是妳高興的時候
我有時候會感覺妳心中很像有陰影
妳也有妳的擔心和憂鬱
給我一點淒涼的感覺 一種絕望的孤單
我都不太確定是真的還是我感覺錯了
不管怎樣 我都是很好奇
我知道我追不到妳
所以我沒有希望
我只是關心妳
想多了解妳
妳快樂最重要

Casters' Lies - 20131007 0635

He will speak the lies
Of a thousand voices
Czar's have fallen in his wake
To those lowly graves they hang

He with his might
Will right his own history
By converting you
Condemning you to a life of disillusion

And they will shred
Your dignity away
Like you were some sort of vile creature
Lurker in the lairs of perversion

It was only on that dry windy day
I could feel the pain of your heart
A thousand miles away
Emanating from a home to far

As I reached for your arms
You withdrew your embrace
What should you care?
What could I say?

Taken to the pits of darkness
The torturers will revile in pain
As you scream your lungs out
In silence and in sleep

I could talk with the sincerity
Mustered by a thousand curses
But this simple bunch of orchids
Have taken all that's left

As I stand on the crest of eternity
Chased by the inner demons
Into the wake of deeper waters
I swim to reach a home too far

The morning is before me
The sunrises without a glimpse of haze
You smile back
Only , there is nothing left

20131006 - song to uh.... write song with...

I will hold you forever
If you let me

有一天你會轉過頭來
看你走的路嗎
沒有我會想改變的
一切都是你安排的

As I walk to you
You turn away
As I speak to you
I cannot reach you

I will understand you completely
Just open your heart to me

Your heart is in a place
That I cannot see clear
Your soul is far away
At a place I cannot reach

If only I could catch a glimpse
It just might change my world

Which To Choose - 20131004 0937

Being with you is the closest
I've ever felt to not being alone
I am yours eternally

You are in my sea of minds
Deep in the heart of my ocean
Dotted in the wind

My life patterns
Are so far away from norm
My diet, my exercise, my sleep

I cast my soul out into the winds
In hopes of reaching you
I speak to you
Hoping to hear from your heart

You're weaving in and out of the stars
A desire so hard to reach
You're weaving through the galaxy
Like a ray of light from the heart

You ooze through the recesses of my mind
You fuel the charge behind every desire
Your ghost is the one that sits behind me
Motivating me to do everything

French Liason - 20130929 1900

In the undergrounds of paris
There lies the bones
Of thousands of men women and children
Their tombs unmarked
Their names forgotten

We walk on top of the catacombs
Without a care in our souls
We dance atop the raving madness
As if it were all some sick dream
That we too, have forgotten

Heaven's Chamber - 20130927 0735

Locked in a core of stone
Bound by a cage of light
It sears you to the bone
A demon in waking heaven

Broken in by a thousand lights
It penetrates so deeply
Even blood has become white
Vision unreliable

Unable to reach outside
Locked in a core of your dark matter
These roads do not lead you home
They will take you into heaven

Into the chamber

Unable to reach inside
You have locked yourself out
These roads will take you away
The place most vulnerable

Into heavens' chamber

Bringing You Down - 20130923 1908

And that wisdom
Transcends all languages
The comfort of being loved
Crossed through the sky

Out with all the platitudes
It is the only thing worth believing
That the light from within you
Can transcend the world

No amount of hate
No number of monumental barriers
No sickened liasons
Can shelter us from the emptiness within

Remember to Smile - 20130917 0627

Even though we've reached the end
Even though we've passed the time
Even though it's all behind
Remember to smile
Every once in a while

Even though we're all alone
Even though we've just begun
Even though we're heading out
Every once in a while
Remember to smile

Awkward Heartache - 20130915 0544

So awkward when I glance
I see a look of disinterest
I notice you walking away
Rather be alone than with me

You'd rather be taken care of
By someone else
Then ask me for help
Is it me?

Or is it you?
I can tell you are lonely
But you feel lonelier with me
Is that what you turn away from?

I can see that you don't want to talk to me
I can feel that you don't want to be near me
Then why do you come?
Are you that lonely?


Taken Away - 20130915 0538

Out of the recesses
They have taken the last of what's mine
From the eyes of the strangers
They read what they can
They feel what they feel

From the skies they've dissolved
The colours of that which was once blue
Partisan out to step all over
Those remains of a dream
Once seen above

Without a warning
This entire situation is resolved
Before any of us were ready
They've made us seeth
Amongst ourselves, for nothing

Insistence - 20130914 0451

Broken tracks
The undying love I have for you
Has become the shadow of my former self
Stuck underground

Out of synchronisation with the day
The sun rises and I see it not
But when the sun sets I awake
To find that I am all alone here

There is no heat
Only fears that I will pass
With too little of you to remember
That I will wither

Over the pieces like a sin
The one we forget to work on
Tinker with and play
Until we find ourselves out of it all

Crawling my way to the nether regions
Back blast of hate searing me
There is no heading back now
My silence spoke for me then and there

You've come such a long way
Since those days that we haven't forgotten
We will never forget them
But I hope we do

I've seen the days
Where the morning never rises
Your heart never feels
And nothing ever changes

We've crossed so far
Into this misfortune
That we have forgotten what it was like
To live under the sun

Oh well,
Life is for death
Oh well,
It all comes to pass

Resurgance - 20130910 0418

Those paragraphs
Those epitaphs
They fall short
For reach, for beauty, for pain

From the depths
Lurks forth the monster
Lusts after your addiction
Like the deepest throes

They will carry with them
Their joy, their perfections, inperfections
They will take with them
Every moment of their now there on after

Into the graves
Into the crevasses
Through the forest trees
Like a summer breeze

Beyond the old roads
Pass the mountains
Over the great lakes
Like a bird in flight

Through the darkness
Withered by addiction
It pierces all matter
And creeps into the bones


Beyond Reach - 20130909 1809

Stare out the window
It has always been there
Look without to see within
It's simply a reflection

The girl is too tall
Without a stable heart
I try to find the steps
That don't seem to exist

She wasn't always so far away
But dead in the depths
There is no surfacing for air
A respite for my sanity

There's no ins and outs
Of a chasing reality
Rearing its demonic face
A burning tacitility

Withered Love - 20130909 0242

To bleed right out of my palms
And take these iron chains
To drag them all the way into the depths
Branded by the ghosts beneath

I would be willing
Willing to take these tumultuous cries
Into the centre of the heart
And absorb the damage

I would be dreading
The day I surface to see your face again
Completely devoid of laughter
Tremelous smile at best

I would be seeing
Into the core of the soul
To find a withered man
Depressed and broken

I would be living
By the seashores
Where nothing will weigh down
My mind to burden me with a choice
To make it out to sea so far


Oh, Can I Reach 20130909 0152

Love is like a flame
Kindle it to watch it burst
Into a wild fire
Consuming your heart whole

Becoming withdrawn into the addiction
It's like a rush with every step I take
The world comes alive
Even the smallest things are precious

Diamonds fade like steel rain
The blackness of the clouds come down
Into the fog we wade deeper still
Until little is left but our hands before us

Years will go by without a word
Look inside though
And you will feel  the reach
Of my undying embrace

In the morning of a loveless flower
It withers and wanes in the wind
It catches naught by the morning rise
Simple nothings, left to fade

Of the trying, there is nothing to lose
Only your corner is there hesitation
Your mind is like the universe
Cradle it, and watch it expand

Hyrelight Kerstava - 20130831 0459

There is so much more to life
If you just hold it in your hands
You will see the light
Piercing the sphere
Embracing your soul
Lifting your burdens
Taking your breath away

The saddest part of everyday
Is having to say goodbye
Over and over again
It's like a chime unsung
Unheard Unmourned Uncomprehended
It's leeches dragging us out to sea

Come, come forth angel
Taller than the sunlight can shine a shadow
Through a grassy plain on the birthday
Of a child
Hold me your hands so that I may feel
The lingering, unyielding

I can see the ships arriving
They carry their sails high
High above the blowing winds
Taking me out to no where
Yes I can still feel the breeze
Smell your scent
Watch your hair fall as the sun rises
Yes I can still see your hands
Their reach becoming pale
Through the shifting sands

This is farewell

Waking Tears - 20130816 0418

They sweep their whispers into the corner
Heads hung so low backs are bent
With no reference, no direction
They soar above these humble lands

Halos lifting between the seams
There is little lost love between
Those who have seen the eternal wasteland
To those that glimpsed divinity

She sits waiting by the closed doors
Breathing so silent even the gods cannot hear
In her mournful slumber she awaits
Her majesty to return to the lights

So long are the nights he steals her away
So short is their time together the fog has not cleared
Even in the light of day
She does not believe he is gone

Cornered in a seething core
Their innards begin to writhe
With every breath a demon is released
And every sigh a dirge written

Goodbye My Sweet - 20130815 - 0117

Long are the songs that weep
For the passing of a loved one
Subtle are the hours
Spent awake wondering after

Those that have treaded
The iron steps of eternity
Know the road leads to a very final ending
Alone, dazed sitting dumbfounded

Sleep becomes days and days become
Weeks, that blur into one another
Without the laughter in these halls
This house is but a haunted carcass

The tears sung by the everglades
Ever flowing in their wake
The emotions carried on a dozen droplets
Each one fainter than the last

20121119 2303 -
There goes by the waters way
Where the wills will intertwine
Reaching for the inners keep
But perishing in its wakes

Stalling for a better day
Where the sunshine will light its rays
Upon the tips of the angels
Buried so long in the dark

If it starts raining then all will fall
One by one they topple
Infrastructure unable to support
The complete lack of faith

If by time you mean burial of the present
Then by all means we have all the time in the world
To while away the seven suns
Until it rises no more

The tired ones now need no rest
Their song is sung eternal
Tread these steps through and through
Until they sing no more

-
Nature in itself is orderly
It is made of fractals
Trails of infinity that never end
All resolves into the earth
There is no chaos, as it is natural

Those arts we made in yesteryears
Grow wearily out of sight
Till none we did is remembered
Our strength lies in our death

Into The Abyss - 20120802 2344

Our courses set on overdrive
We climb towards despair
Our hands are worn beyond repair
We have nowhere to hide

These hearts that stand are turning black
Und'r a toiling sun
They crash and crash upon the shores
Of a morning so uncaring

You wake us up in hours of scorching
Heat so built up we come out blistered
From head to toe ready to fight
For that last breath we all yearn

Live and let burn the forgotten
Walk and let die the weak and fallen
Our hates in our hands
For we are walking alone

Down this road into the abyss

Hybrid Toil - 20120801 1224

The excuses that have passed through me
Like the millions of men before me
Given that I never had hope
These dreams are not for me

It was said that the future is ours
But ours is not the future
It is a container of the past
A jail of forlorn hopes

The distant beaches to far to swim
I've been following them for days
Caught between two rips out
I've used up all my lifelines

Time is now to wither away the past
All the distractions keeping me from this
Settling in this ordinary life
Like a sun about to set

That's The Day - 20120731 2223

We forged these swords in pools of blood
Their visceral hate just taint the souls
Of the bearers which give relentlessly
In their zealous watch over these fields

Their bitter tides wrap morphed spirits
Only wretched hands do hold these swords
We look at the sky for a glimpse of hope
Their battle rage oncoming forward

I agreed to all those dreadful things
We did those years past that feel
So recently I can't walk away from
That perpetual feeling I'm followed

Chasing the footsteps of a person lost so far
Behind me that I cannot see but in contempt
The light those grey dawn eyes cast on me
With their silent promises of redemption

Day by day we swing these blades
For the promise of a better tomorrow
Night by night we bury the dead
And yearn for some kind of redemption


20120729 1409
You seek of those who do not come
You seek of them who do not do
Like a dream that's been forgotten
You yearn for the crest

They've moved so far away
They've wrapped their gowns
And folded their hands
Tugging at the rope to infinity

Foresight - 20120722 1617

When the day ends with a sigh
The wishes of tomorrow I can see
But I cannot promise them for you
For those days that we want together

The cycle that consumes me
Is neither a product
Or an effect but it causes
All the ripples that we brush away

I see it disappearing into the future
All those lines that intertwine
Just fade away like yesteray
Would you see my inner heart

That you could find the truth
And were you being my senechal
You would see that falling lights
Are coming down on us


One Day - 20120708 1223

And you will know from that day forth
That no one else can hurt you
In your tidy shell deep within
That none will ever breach

We have a finite amount of hours left
And each minute that passes by
Makes the last second more precious
The moment has come and gone

Another Love - 20120706 0425

Beckons forth the one
Who we call a friend
Maybe the daring one will begin
Better to die fighting

Given in to the will of another
So far and so forgotten
Its will will make a majesty
Of all the lost arcs on this forgotten island

On the edge of the pier
Dropped into the water
So murky that no divers can see
What lies beneath the cold darkness

Knowledge that is wrong is obstinate
Satiating the mind by imitating the person
Unable to capture the majesty
In all the beauty that it holds to the world

Were that love could seek to find
A substitute of warmth
Then this wrong would not be wrought
And barren dreams unmade

Candles light the darkest days
For glee of substitutes
Given that this door is closed
So reality seeks to bare

Invisible its reach to grasp
Abyssic in its wake
Redefined a love to be
The forsaken surrogate

Spread your wings into the sun
And let the light become
If you find the energy
Just leave me be behind

Carving Down - 20131101

Firing down the 99th lane
Sights locked tight on
Mirror shows no fear or pain
The lies that show what we've become